I don't do photocopiers!

So here is the situation. Sysadmins and Netadmins maintain, repair, upgrade, install, downgrade and decommission computers and networks respectively. The key words here are COMPUTERS and NETWORKS. I will say this again, as it needs to sink in. COMPUTERS and NETWORKS! What makes wetware think that we fix any other items such as photocopiers, vacuum cleaners, kettles, radios, telephones, and so on, and so on! We do not setup, repair, configure or offer tuition on operating VCRs, mobiles, digital cameras, etc. READ THE MANUAL! It was supplied with the equipment and intended for you. It will clearly show you all that you need to know, and then some. And don't even bother asking us for advice on your mother's cousin's thrice removed electrical appliance needs. We have enough to deal with on a day-to-day basis, without thinking about whether an XBOX or PSP3 would be more suitable as learning tool. We do not care!

Don't bug us with such insidious requests. Requests such as these only breed a spirit of disinclination to acquiece to future requests. We only deal with and care about the systems and networks that we administer.

Foreign Fancy

I believe that I score above average in my language abilities, especially as I am fluent in 4 proper languages. I also can read in 2 different alphabets, however, it really annoys me when you, in your immeasurable egocentrism, DEMAND that I understand YOUR LANGUAGE and YOUR ALPHABET in MY COUNTRY. YOU visit my country and bring your problems to me, and after I emphasized that I do NOT speak or read Korean, you continued to badger me for assistance. Altruistically, I relented AND miraculously managed to fix the problem. If the story ended here we would all be happy, but it did not ... DID IT!!! YOU then proceeded to set up your computer as a server and started exchanging and serving illegal software!

Guess what punk!!! YOU HAVE GONE FROM BEING A NON-ENTITY ON MY HIT LIST TO ACHIEVING POLL POSITION. I know you will be reading this post because I emailed it to you, but you will only have a few moments to reflect on it as your connection will be terminated in the next 5 minutes. Furthermore, after probing my network and discovering vulnerabilities on your system, I instituted an attack on your computer. In approximately 6 minutes, you system will be rendered useless and ONLY FIT TO BE A TOASTER. Moreover, any rights and priviledges to any computers under my jurisdiction on my network will be revoked within 7 minutes. YOU WILL ENTER THE EQUIVALENT OF A PRE-STONE AGE when it comes to working with computers.

Don't bother crying on anyone's shoulder. NOBODY cares and NO-ONE likes you anymore.